Its 4 weeks today that Alan left me.
I've been told I'm coping much better now but I think its all a front ... I still feel devastated.
Today I cut down masses of thistles from around the Hilton and put everything in the little trailer then I weed killed the lot. So hopefully for the rest of summer it will be free of thistles and then I wont have to worry about it.
I'm still having difficulty with the fact that Alan has gone away. I still think I must have done something but I'm not sure what.
Le-Anne saw Alan today because yesterday he said he was not well and apparently today he wasn't much better and she commented that he was very quiet and he said he was always quiet but perhaps the reality of what has happened is starting to dawn on him. But I'll newer know.
I feel totally miserable. ... I'm not happy.
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