Still continuing

Well today I'm pleased to say that i didn't cry once yesterday and now i'm beginning to think its when I hear about Alan that it sets me off.

I am so fortunate having Pam next door as she contacts me every day and comes in for about and hour or so and just lets me talk which really helps. I'll miss her when I leave here but will always be in contact with her. When we're together we do have a good laugh. She told me a funny joke about women yesterday and although I may get this a little wrong you'll get the idea.

"single woman talking to a friend ... why buy the whole pig when you only want a sausage!"

Sunday was a bad night and that was after I asked Le-Anne how Dad was and she told me so away i went with the tears and then she saw him again on Monday and I did that same thing again so had another terrible night so now I'm feeling fine - well at the minute ....

Today i have a dentist appointment and then I'll mow the front lawn and then do the floor in the kitchen because accidentally Le-Anne used the blender without the top on and chocolate milk stuff is all over the place.

Also Janette is coming to stay tonight so that will be good.

Tomorrow night I'll be staying with Carol and we're going out on Friday for the day.

As time goes by ...

From my last posting of which I can't at this time remember the date I thought I was going quite well.

I didn't cry on the 26 or 27 of November and right up until 8.00 on the Sunday i was fine and then I fell into a heap. It took Le-Anne over an hour to settle me down and then I was totally exhausted.

I should add that on 26.11.10 i went to Janette's for the evening and that was nice and then on the Saturday I went to Carol's and we spent the day travelling this way and that and it was also very enjoyable, although I was pretty tired at the end of the day. during the evening I watched the state election on TV and the labor party lost so now we have a liberal government after 11.5 years so now everyone is hopeful that life will become better once again.

Yesterday was ok until around 9.00 pm and I fell into another heap this time tough i rang Carol and spoke to her for an hour and a half and then once again i was exhausted and had a shower and went to bed.

Yesterday I also arranged for a burial spot for Mum at Bunurung Cemetery and I think I have chosen a nice spot. The plaque will be like a book and on one side it will be about Mum and
Graham and on the other it will be blank until I go.

Today I'm feeling very flat and am not sure what to do, although I have cut the grass around the emu pen at the back because I think its going to be pretty snaky this year and I'm not that keen on being bitten by a snake and I certainly don't want Cooper to be bitten either.

When I was with Janette she suggested that instead of moving down towards the bay that I should move up closer to where my friends are ie Carol, Le-Anne and Janette. I've now thought about this for a few days and I think its a good idea but will wait until Carol and I see a solicitor on Friday and then fingers crossed I'll find out if Gatcum Court is mine or if I have to share it will Alan.
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Time slowly passes

Its 3 weeks today that Alan left me for a woman he went out with 50 years ago. He said that for the past 15 years he's been hoping that i would find someone and leave him, and of course this didn't happen because I have loved him dearly since we meet in 1969. He also said that i had become boring, and then told me that Gilly said he could move in with her so he did and I have only seen him a few times since and each time I have found it most distressing but now I think I am feeling better and from now on I will make sure I'm not here when he comes out to do think.

I have also contacted the Trademark people and I can have the Easy T trademark transferred to my name and this is also a good thing because after this property is sold at this stage i do not intend seeing him again and hopefully will be able to move on with my life.

Firstly I will advertise the Easy T and get that going. I will also contact a couple of book editors that i know and have my book "Bubbles on the Road" edited and try and have it published - now that would be exciting.

Then I think I will try and see what I can do about Agnes Buntine. I think a documentary about her would be fantastic but I'll have to wait and see.

Carol and Janette have told me in the past week that they will not let me fall in a heap because not only do I have them I have at least another 11 people that are giving me total support and I am very grateful for that.

I have also thought that perhaps I don't need to live in this area at all and that perhaps Burwood wouldn't be a bad area as that is close to my friends., and as at this time who would know where Le-Anne will end up and I also know that she is an adult and doesn't need to be on my backdoor step for the rest of her life so that's why I'm thinking being close to my friends is a good option.

Last night I had my best nights sleep and feel much better for it. I'm also just about to to out for the day with Carol and that will be a bit of fun.

So all in all perhaps my life will be ok in the long run just need to sell all of this and get a place where the dog and i can live :-)

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