I Feel so much better now - 12 January 2011

I haven't cried for a week now and feel so much better.

I was fairly cross when I heard that Gillie had told all and sundry over in Beachport the "she felt very sorry for Barbara!" so I sent an email to Alan asking him who the hell she thought she was to talk about me to anyone let alone his family. I also wasn't that impressed when Leh told me that she said to Alan that she didn't think he should be having wine every night and that according to leh Gillie always seemed to have a glass in her hand. and this is the woman who gave Alan the sob story of her husband being and alcoholic so I'm wondering if Alan is her next victim.

Anyway I sent Alan and email telling him I didn't want the caravan back here, basically after she had been in it I just wasn't interested but I knew even when I sent it that the caravan would be here because that's the way Alan is.

So when I got back with leh Alan was here so I walked up to him smiling and said "which part of my email didn't you understand" he just smiled and gave me a few reasons why it was here which was rubbish because he always intended it coming back. So he put the caravan back where it had been then he/we fixed my car with the dent and then we had a cup of tea. I also asked him if he liked the new lounge and he said yes he thought it was great.

When we were having our cup of tea i asked him if he was happy where he was and his reply once again shocked me "well its as good as it can be when you are living with someone" so strange he should be jumping out of his skin with happiness but he isn't.

when he was leaving I told him I was thinking of going on a holiday and he asked where and I said the Antarctic and he said that would be exciting. So I sent him an email last night asking him if he would come with me and this was his reply "I wouldn't be braving the massive waves you have to go through before you get to the ice. " so I have now sent him another email saying "ok I'll book two seats for a flight over the Antarctic for 6 February leaving Melbourne and 8.00 am and returning 12 hours later. I know he will say no but I don't care.

BTW when I last spoke to him his eyes had returned to the sparkling blue which was lovely I just hope I don't fall in another heap.